I saw the sign clearly from the beginning. It was never right, and there was no excuse to make it right. Though my mind likes to play tricks, making it more interesting in my head than in reality. One year ago, I never had my feet on the ground. It was a series of irresponsible acts as a person. I did not know why I acted like that. As I asked for forgiveness from others for being wrong, I forgave my old self, slowly.
I see people differently now. I’ve set the line clearly. You clearly don’t want to know me further. Enjoy the surface-level version of me, because you don’t want to know the other version of me.
What happened a few months ago was that you (and there are so many of you) pushed the button, and what you guys saw afterward was a series of reactions from me trying to survive. With my limited emotions and energy, that’s all I could have done.
What now?
I find myself still trying to find the balance of not knowing too much but maintaining the relationship at certain level.
With so many falsehoods in the beginning, it’s no surprise that things eventually fell apart
