https://www.instagram.com/p/C5ETUzEhTlN/
I saw this video on Instagram, and it explains attachment theory better than any other explanation. It resonates at so many levels within the tiniest cell in my body, which I think is keeping the trauma. The love that I receive is the kind of love that everyone deserves in full. It keeps me safe and fulfilled (emotionally and in non-emotional aspects). It recharges me, but at the same time, it pushes me to be the best version of who I am.
It’s been 13 years, but my tiniest cell in the body has not made sense of this kind of love. With 15 years of experience living with my parents and 31 years of understanding how their relationship works, I know what I have with my husband right now is something that my parents didn’t have. I, with the logic that I have, sometimes still yearn for breadcrumbs from a person who doesn’t exist.
My tiniest cell in the body longs for the familiarity even though she knows it’s not safe. It will hurt her again.
I pray for myself to heal over time. And finally, for my body to feel familiar with and deserving of the love that I have. :)
